Video installations: Emma's

Soooo today's the day of the video installations being set up, and so far, so good!

Emma's:

Emma's installation consists of 6 TV screens placed on some tables with black cloths over. 3 of the screens have the same video playing and the other 3 have a different video playing. The videos show Emma, Stacey, Elicia, Chloe and Jordan (all separately) sat on a chair portraying different emotions, while the sounds are playing too. It's very surreal to hear odd sounds and see the emotions change from happy to sad, angry to nervous, as sometimes there is little sound and sometimes there is lots. It's bizarre to be in the dark room with the only light source being the TV screens, and hearing and watching the faces changing from one emotion to another in an instant.

Overall I really like it! I could definitely see this in a gallery. The longer you watch, the more involved you become in the emotions of each character.

FINALLY finishing my video installation tomorrow :D

So tomorrow I am going to actually create my video installation, and there are still a few things I need to get, so this is what I'm taking tomorrow and why:
- bits of makeup (old, broken) [hiding your true self, transgender, transvestite]
- a mirror [body dysmorphic disorder]
- a pair of scissors [transgender]

probably not gonna take some of the things I had planned to originally because of the difference in space size. I think I'll discard these as they are the most un-needed / a little too deep perhaps:
- a pair of women's and men's shoes (high heels and trainers)
- items of ladies / mens clothing
- a lamp [there's more light in the new space so there is no need for the lamp]
- paper bags
- old, well loved teddy
- old blanket & pillow
- tissues covered in red paint (or something similar to look like blood)
- posters and pictures with faces scribbled out
- weighing scales
- food in plastic bags
- rope / belt

Almost at the end of this project!

So the end of this project is creeping ever closer...more like running towards me at high speed, and I'm not fully prepared to be perfectly honest! This project, along with 2 others, has been left behind while I completed my FMP, which is now done, so now I have approx 3 days to complete 3 projects....hahahahahahahahaha oh dear :(

Also, because of the short space of time (everything is nearly done for this, thank god!), I cannot remove all the junk from the room I wanted to have my installation in, so that's kinda disappointing...but hey ho, I now need to find a new place to show my work.

The room I wanted to use was next to the stairs which lead to the room we normally have our video installation lessons in, and it's really dark and spooky and it goes under the stair so you have to bend down to get to some of it, which would've been so good for my project! But oh well, instead I am going to use the other side of the stairs where there is a short corridor, it's kind of dark so it's not too bad.

Video installation scripts

Here are the scripts I wrote based on the responses that I received from my survey, along with other research and personal experiences. I have also written the names of the people who recorded each script and I have put them in order of how they will play. Some of the scripts were slightly changed / improvised which works well as it makes them sound more natural. To say we are not drama students, everyone did very well at getting into character, as it's hard when all you have is a sentence or two about how they feel. I think a lot of people could relate to certain parts of what they were saying, which helped a lot. I am happy with the end product of these recordings and I will try to upload them to youtube so I can post them on here too!

"My friends said it would be fun, that I could escape from reality for a bit. Escape myself and my shitty life. And they were right, so so right! It makes you dizzy at first and your vision gets a bit blurry, but then you're there, and the world is so beautiful." Me

"I knew it would hurt, but I couldn't help myself, I couldn't stop it. It felt good too, like I was opening up my wounds and all my problems were floating away. It's addictive! But they stopped me...they told me it was bad and took away all the sharp things in our house. But it didn't stop me. I needed it. I needed to release my demons somehow." Chloe

"It's like there's a little voice in my head, putting me down whenever I get a bit happy. I hate myself some days, others I'm fine. Eating and sleeping well helps, but I still get the thoughts occasionally." Stacey

"Getting kicked out of school, that's probably what started it. But I couldn't do it...all those pretty girls around me every day, those skinny bitches...I couldn't cope with that kind of pressure. I hate myself enough as it is. He couldn't deal with me like that, he didn't have to...I don't blame him really. And my friends...I wasn't their problem, they didn't need my stress too...everyone has problems." Emma

"I think in general I'm a very emotional person. I get panic attacks when I'm in a stressful situation...I have to stop and use breathing techniques to calm myself down. And yeah, I have depressive moments, but I guess that comes naturally with anxiety..." Mel

"I don't understand why people tell me I'm skinny when all I can see it fat. I hate looking in the mirror because I can just see it everywhere on my body, disgusting, bulging out of my clothes. I don't eat anything though and I exercise all the time!! I can't understand it, I'm not getting any thinner. Doesn't help that they keep taking me to hospital and making me eat through a drip. I chewed through the tube just so it would stop!!! I could feel them pumping more fat into my body, and I can't get fatter or Ana will get mad and I have to please her or she'll hate me." Me

"I don't class myself as a victim, and that's important, because I know I'm in control. Support is helpful...but at the end of the day I'm the person who can help myself the most." Jordan

"Being in hospital was the worst. I wanted to get out so badly, why wouldn't they just let me die? I've overdosed three times now, and each time they save me, but I don't want to be saved! They just put me in a hospital bed on a drip, leaking crap into my veins. I was being sick, I was dizzy, I ached so badly, I just wanted to die..." Becky

"I honestly don't have a clue what the future holds for me, or if I even have a future. I don't really know if I want a future." Elicia

Am I normal?

Had a quick look at channel 4's site http://www.aminormal.channel4.com and there are lots of different questions about what's normal and what isn't, which you can respond to and then it shows you the percentage of yes and no answers. It's quite interesting because the questions are all related to current issues and tv programmes that are on channel 4 that address certain issues. Channel 4 says that their shows bend the ideas of normal, through the characters, their opinions and the situations they get into. They also say, "There is no normal."

I think this is some powerful stuff! I really hope it changes some people's opinions on "normal".

Lincoln uni exhibition

We went to Lincoln Uni to see the exhibitions of the graduate work. Unfortunately, the fashion and architecture work was still being marked so we couldn't see that, and I was looking forward to seeing the fashion stuff, but oh well. We still got to see the fine art, graphics and other work on display, which was pretty cool! I especially liked this video installation, which I feel is very similar to the final piece I am trying to achieve, however less literal. It was a small, square room within the display space, and was only a maximum of 7 foot high, so inside it felt quite claustrophobic. There was no light inside the room apart from the light from the tv screen and the cracks around the door. The door was short and I had to duck to get through, like a child's playhouse size. Inside there was writing all over the walls, ceiling and floor, and inside of the door. It was just scribbles of words and phrases in sharpie, some bits darker and more pronounced than others. The words were all negative, or questioning life, along those lines anyway.

Also the video on the tv screen was a person (it seemed to be a woman) writing words on her body, predominantly her legs, in dry wipe marker and then rubbing them off, but smearing the word more than completely wiping it away.

Installation so far...

Not really posted about this in a while, so here's a little update! I've got about 2 and a held weeks left on this project, as with FMP...so kinda have to kick myself up the bum here and get on with it!

I'm currently writing the scripts for people to read out while I record, so I can play them during my installation. They are going to be on a loop, so not everyone that enters the space will hear every person speak, but they will hear parts of some of the speeches.

I've been collecting empty alcohol bottles, empty fag packets and lighters, junk food wrappers and other bits and pieces with the help of my friends and family. These things will all go into my installation.
Things I still need to get (and what they are for):
- more empty booze bottles [alcoholic]
- more fag packets [heavy smoker, addiction]
- bits of makeup (old, broken) [hiding your true self, transgender, transvestite]
- a mirror [body dysmorphic disorder]
- a pair of scissors [transgender]
- a pair of women's and men's shoes (high heels and trainers) [transgender, transvestite]
- items of ladies / mens clothing [transgender, transvestite]
- a lamp [for lighting, obviously!]
- paper bags [anxiety, panic attacks]
- rope / belt [suicide]
- old, well loved teddy [comfort, not wanting to grow up]
- old blanket & pillow [insomnia]
- tissues covered in red paint (or something similar to look like blood) [self harm]
- posters and pictures with faces scribbled out [depression]
- weighing scales [anorexia]
- food in plastic bags [anorexia]

Idea for a piece in my video installation?

found this on pinterest, maybe break a mirror or something, or take photos of peoples faces, cut them up and write the things they hate about themselves through the "cracks"? these could go on the walls of the room where my installation will be

Stop video edited

Here is the video that I filmed last week, edited and ready to go!

Filming my canvas

Filmed pouring the paint over my canvas!!! Was nerve racking and exciting, I only had one shot at this! I used 5 colours: red, blue, green, yellow and purple. The purple and green weren't as bright as I'd have liked, but it still worked!

Kinda got a bit of paint on the wall, despite putting paper up behind the canvas...oops!

I made the paint fairly runny so that it would drip and slide down the canvas, which is exactly what I wanted! When I had poured all the paint, I reached my left arm in the shot and drew a smiley face, which, due to the runny paint, started to dribble as soon as I'd drawn it! This made the eyes look like they were crying, but with a smile still on the face!! I hadn't considered this factor previously, but I'm so glad the paint ran because it has worked out really well. I really hope the actual video represents this too

I'll have the video up soon :)

Second canvas

So after the success of the small canvas I painted, I decided to paint a bigger one! At first I used a paint brush for the words but then thought I could make the words more raw if I used my finger?? So you can see below the only word painted with my finger is "cold". I definitely prefer this so I went over the other words with my finger and completed the rest of the words in the same manner.

It all seemed too neat still, not messy enough for my liking, so I painted my whole hand black and wiped my hand across the canvas, increasing the intensity of the paint around the edges of the canvas. Despite the fact that the words aren't clear any more, I think this works better as you can still tell there are words underneath, but the words and voices are so mixed up and messy in the mentally unstable mind that you can't understand them.

I also decided to put some more black paint on the small canvas, just not as much so that the words are still visible. I might use this canvas in my installation, but I might just keep it as an experiment..hmm. Looking forward to recording the video now!!

Painting my canvas

 

^found a picture that is sort of what I'd likw my canvas to look like...

Tried out what I wanted on a smaller canvas, which I could always use in the room anyway

I used a lot of "no" because it's a small word which will fit well in the little spaces and is also quite an influencing word in my project

Planning out my installation

A room within a room for my video installation?

Been thinking more about my video installation idea and I'm wanting to have the set up as a bedroom rather than just a room with different bits and pieces in. I think this would pull the whole installation together, maybe make it more emotive too? There would be more of an atmosphere as the members of the audience would be in a bedroom with everything happening around them. It would possibly feel like they were intruding on who ever owns the bedoom's space. I would still incorporate the different "symbols" of mental disorders, such as bags of food, paper bags, razor without the blade etc.

Pipilotti Rist 
Himalaya's Sister's Living Room, 2000 
Video Installation With Ten Projectors and Ten Players in and Around Furniture and Various Objects, and Wallpaper Mounted on Wood, With Sound 
© Courtesy of Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York 

Installation view, Hauser & Wirth Zürich 2009 © Courtesy of the artist & Hauser & Wirth

Tatiana Blass

Electrical Room, 2013
Video installation
Wires, outlets and audiovisual equipment
Dimensions variable
MCA Denver, Denver, Colorado

Feelings and Emotions general theme for video installation

So as a lot of us don't have ideas we decided to focus on a general theme: feelings and emotions. This is still quite a broad theme and connects the ideas that some of us already have.

Mental Health Survey - please fill in!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RLNMH9H

Link to my survey on survey monkey! Please fill in the survey, it will only take  a few minutes and is completely anonymous! It is about mental health issues but you can fill it in whether you have a diagnosed mental health issue or not. This is part of my research for a video art installation I am creating for a college project, about how people feel about themselves and what's hiding beneath their smile. I'd be very grateful if you could fill in my survey and even share on Facebook or tell your friends and family! Much appreciated :D Thank you! This blog will be kept up to date with the progress of this project.

Edited Videos

Videos edited

So from the video of me painting my face in reverse, I tested out some effects in Adobe Premier Pro and created these cool videos!

Black and white version

Inverted version

Bulge version 1

Bulge version 2

Psychedelic version

It was kind of cool to test out the effects available on Adobe Premier Pro, as I'm not really tech savvy when it comes to things like this (I can just about handle photoshop and illustrator...).

Mental Health Issues Research for Video Installation

Here is a link to a website listing mental health issues. I can now research into these issues further and decide which to focus on in my work.

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/

Ideas for video installation